Historical record
The Startup
Graveyard
We ran history's most notorious startup failures through the IdeaRoast panel. This is the verdict they would have received.
Cases on record
07
Subject
“Short-form premium video content (5–10 minute episodes) designed exclusively for mobile viewing, with $1.75B in funding from Hollywood studios and tech investors.”
Cause of death
“Quibi spent $875 per download to prove that nobody will pay for what TikTok gives away free — during a pandemic that killed commuting.”
Subject
“A $400 WiFi-connected juice press machine that squeezes proprietary single-serve produce packs. Packs can only be used with the machine. Raised $120M.”
Cause of death
“You raised $120M to build a DRM system for bags of juice that human hands could squeeze just as well.”
Subject
“Revolutionary blood testing platform that claims to run hundreds of diagnostic tests from a single finger-prick drop of blood, at a fraction of the cost of traditional labs.”
Cause of death
“Theranos: a $9B lesson that physics doesn't care about your valuation, and fraud convictions aren't a pivot strategy.”
Subject
“Shared coworking spaces leased long-term from landlords and sub-leased short-term to startups and freelancers, with a community and lifestyle brand. Positioned as a "physical social network".”
Cause of death
“WeWork burned $2B+ per year proving that signing 15-year leases to sell monthly memberships is not a tech company — it's a suicide pact with a landlord.”
Subject
“Online pet supply e-commerce store with free or heavily discounted shipping on bulky items like dog food. Mascot-driven brand. Super Bowl ad.”
Cause of death
“You spent $11.8M to earn $619K, then aired a Super Bowl ad for a sock puppet — Chewy did it right sixteen years later by solving logistics first.”
Subject
“Wearable augmented reality glasses with a heads-up display, camera, voice control, and always-on internet connectivity. Worn in public like normal glasses.”
Cause of death
“You're pitching Google Glass in 2026 — the product that literally coined the term "Glasshole" — into a market where Meta and Apple spend more on optics R&D than your entire valuation.”
Subject
“Audio-only social network with live drop-in conversations, invite-only access, and no recordings. Real-time voice rooms hosted by anyone.”
Cause of death
“Clubhouse proved live audio demand exists, then watched Twitter, Spotify, and LinkedIn ship the same feature to 3 billion users for free.”
Your turn
Think yours survives where they didn't?